Fit: Destination Unknown


Fit. It’s a word thrown about almost constantly. The ultimate destination on the journey to ‘your best self’, and all that. Fit is something I’ve never been, but something that had to become a priority in recent times. Here’s why.

Earlier this year, I decided I was going to try and sort my health out a bit. This wasn’t any kind of ‘weight-loss journey’ waffle, it was legit concern about my health.

For this, we need to travel back in time a couple of years. Small-Me was about two at this point and I was skinny as a rake. I mean, eight stone of skinny. Now, I’ve never in my life been a slim person, and certainly never that slim.

Prior to having Small-Me, I was a solid size 12-14 and 100% not bothered about it, whatsoever. As a short woman, that size wasn’t especially flattering on me, but I’ve never really been the type of person to take notice of that stuff in any way shape or form. Body image issues have a massive effect on most women, but thankfully I’ve managed to avoid them for the most part up to now.

I was happy enough, and really, the more of me, the better, right?

I jest.

Changes of the unexpected variety

Anyhow, I got way, way bigger during pregnancy, as you do, and then once I had my little girl, that didn’t change that drastically. But then, strangely, something unexpected happened. After a while, I started to drop in size. And again, and again, until one day I realised I’d skinnied-out at around 8 stone 9oz.

This was completely unheard of for me, but what made me more concerned is that I wasn’t actually trying to lose weight. In fact, I was on a pretty robust menu of three Chinese takeaways a week, with the odd Pizza thrown in for good measure and not much else in between.

So, I went to the doctors (obviously thinking I was dying of Googlematosis) and everything seemed to be alright, other than the fact I was bonier than Skeletor’s sack.

I was also extremely tired, which isn’t actually unusual for me (more on that later), but I realised that although I was suddenly slim, I now felt incredibly unhealthy.

Ironically, this was around the time that people started to compliment me on how good I looked…or that I’d ‘disappeared’. Now, I know a lot of people crave that shit, but such feedback made me feel extremely uncomfortable – and before anyone starts piping up with ‘oh do shut up, I wish I had that problem’, you can go right ahead and clam up, because you’d feel exactly the same if someone turned around to you and chirped up with ‘Oh my God, you’ve BALLOONED! You look so big now!’

Wouldn’t you?

Increasingly frustrated, I began to ask around if anyone knew any sensible ways of putting on weight or building up strength. People just didn’t get it, and all I got was a lot of eye-rolling and comments about not knowing how lucky I was.

Screw you, bitches at toddler group.

There’s nothing lucky about waking yourself up in the night because you’ve rolled onto your own actual pelvis and thinking you’ve been stabbed in the pants by your own bones, trust me.

Shifting the focus

It really surprised me how much focus there was on weight loss, and almost none on strength building and healthy weight gain for slim women. I realised that this was something I was going to have to try and work out for myself.

So, after months of eating unadulterated crap in a bid to try and get back up to a healthy size, I realised that I had to start going about this properly.

So, I tentatively began researching ways to get my body strong,  healthy and fit again, with a surprising outcome. In my next post I’ll explain more, but I’d love to know how you’ve ever approached getting fit, and if you’ve ever had any experiences like mine.

Let me know what you think in the comments, or you can drop me a message over on Twitter or Facebook.

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